.. my love..

my weds night is giving a huge headache.. there are both the champions league final and mambo happening!!! i am sooooooo torn between the two.. wanted to go down to zouk in the end cos ade and sab were there but they were going to leave for clarke quay.. haiz.. so yay as im watching the match but i cannot help bobbing to "summer rain" in my head.. this shows that i need a twin so that i can do everything and anything all at once!!!

on a happier note, the boyfriend bought me donuts and he surprised me with these sweets late last sunday night after going to Malaysia for paintball- ing.. he is so awesome!




poor boyfriend is not feeling so awesome today though cos he's down with a cold and he still has to work.. hope he gets well soon!! and i hope man united wins tonight too!!

i should be de-stressing for its the holidays after all but i find myself being so uptight about my tutees' results and all that stuff.. sometimes in addition to being a tutor to my 5 kids, i feel like i have a mirage of roles from being a counselor to being a third parent all at once.. there really is no easy money to be earned these days..

went out shopping with my aunt and she bought me some stuff, i love aunties especially mine cos they are so nice to me and it helps that we share a common interest in our adoration of bags, watches and dresses because it means that i have a never- ending of such presents from them! she bought the boyfriend and me dinner at kenny rogers.. while the standard of the service is deplorable, the food is really good! ok maybe not really but it has improved a lot from the last time i was there..

went to newton again for dinner with d and the boyfriend.. this time round, i have to say we picked the right stalls to get our stingray, chicken wings and satay.. its still like playing a game of roulette every single time i am there cos the stalls all look the same and i can never quite remember which are the ones i should be sticking with..

so it's a friday afternoon and i am sitting in my room spending time on this blog.. solitude is what i need most when i can feel the impending arrival of that time of the month.. who says women have it easy?

p.s. i am so happy kris allen won american idol!

i have watched both x-men: wolverine and star trek.. although hugh jackman is still sexy, i think i found a new sexy in chris pine who is captain kirk in the latter.. sexiness aside, i think the latter is a better movie simply because the former's plot is full of loop holes..

apart from movies, i think i have been eating too much cake and ice- cream, so no matter how i try to stay in shape by running regularly, the eating basically negates my efforts at maintaining a healthy lifestyle.. besides, try is really quite subjective as well..

lately, there is this one particular person i will like to beat up.. not going to mention names because given the voyeuristic nature of this person, i am pretty sure he will read (if he is not already reading) my blog at some point.. well, he just seems to take his friendships for granted.. we were there for him one way or another when he met with pitfalls in his relationship and even though he did not handle it too well, we overlooked the irrationality of his actions and continued to comfort and lend him a listening only to have him abuse all of it..

i am angry because it seems as if he is just making use of us and flinging us away to the ends of the earth when he has ran out of theartrics to milk our sympathies.. in fact right now, to a certain extent, i am even disgusted that i could be taken in by his projected dejectedness, whines and what's not..

some people just dun grow up..

after three weeks of tormenting my eyes as i rushed to finish my lit texts, the exams have ended, all that i have studied in the last few months just dissipated into a week of exams, life is unfair this way i guess..

this is me dying because the boyfriend always bullies me..

somehow when school starts, there seems to be time for everything esle but blogging.. on the other hand, there is never enough time to finish what i need to do, whether it's school work or just some time to breathe and lately, i feel exhausted.. when i get home every night, all i want to do is to collaspe into bed and hope that tomorrow never comes.. at least that's what i hope to be able to do but the reality is that i have going for runs because running makes me feel good.. the feeling of racing against the wind parallels me running the world.. nothing feels better than being a rebel, isn't it?

im going to teach when i graduate and sometimes, i laugh at myself because i simply cannot imagine the kind of teacher that i may be.. i have been fortunate to have met many wonderful teachers in my many years of education who have always encouraged me and providing me with the strength to achieve things which i never thought i could.. hopefully, i can be such a teacher.. i may not be able to help a whole class but as long as i help just one student, i think i will have achieved something..

things with the boyfriend have been good and as i grow older, i realised that nothing beats staying home on a sunday, watching some korean dramas and playing games on my DS lite.. some people say that a sudden crave for a simple life is a symptom of maturity.. maybe it is..

i felt like a recluse, shut off from the internet world when i saw the date of my last blog entry cos i have not been spending much time online other than logging on the past one week to plan my time- table for the new semester.. did pretty well for this semester except for one stupid module but its water under the bridge now..

this holiday has been good for me.. my whole family went on a holiday to hongkong and despite my initial reservations that my mother would be a tad difficult to get along with because she could be percieved to be a bipolar sufferer at times, my worries were uncalled for.. this family holiday has also shown me a side of my father that i have never known.. we always think that fathers are too busy for their families and for my case, my family is a little unique given that i have 2 half brothers in Malaysia and sometimes, i am torn between sympathy for the boys who will always be "bastards" in the eyes of others and victims of merciless tauntings because they are "fatherless" and being indescribly upset with my father for the irresponsible acts of indulging in numerous acts of affairs over the years.. when i was young, i was constantly beaten up by my mother not because i was a naughty child but just because.. from being caned to being scalded, i was shielded by no one and at times, i resented my father for not protecting me and on occasions allowed myself to consider suicide so as to escape from it all.. although i have learnt to forgive him when i grew older because i understood that my mother was partly responsible for the breakdown in their marriage and that my father have been a better man the last few years, i think i only truly forgave him when i saw the care that he showed for my mum on our trip to hongkong.. he would carry her up and down the tour coach, constantly making sure that she was kept warm.. i see that my father is truly a noble man because he stood by my mother for 25 years, marrying her and taking care of her even as she was half- paralysed, making late night trips to the hospital even when he was tired after work to visit my mother whenever she was ill..

this holiday, i understood the meaning of true love and i am glad that it was my father who imparted this precious life lesson to me..

dad, mum, sis


on to something less "emo"... had steamboat with the guys on new year's eve and this year, there was naresh's girlfriend and dudley who joined us.. i spent an entire day preparing the soup base, the ingredients and i even made wantons!!!

oh i cut my hair and the boyfriend bought me an adorable princess for christmas..

it was the boyfriend's 22nd!!






the boyfriend's birthday coincided with the end of my exams.. so happy that the stressful period is finally over! i bought the boyfriend the collector's edition of the indiana jones trilogy cos he is a huge and took him for a nice authentic pizza dinner at modesto's.. burnt a huge hole in my pocket but it was a wonderful night!

he flew off to shanghai for a holiday with his ocs friends yesterday and while i was at the airport, i could not resist stepping into the candy store to buy a huge bag of jelly beans.. haha this shows that age is not a matter for me cos i'm young at heart although i can feel trepidation coursing through my veins each time i think about turning 23 next year.. anyway, when i pick him up from the airport next weds, i'm going to go on a shopping spree at blush which is located at T3.. they are having sales and in addition, its GST FREE!!! yay i just love pretty lingerie so much!!!

was telling the boyfriend the other day that i got this business idea.. you know how ladies really love their sexy lingerie but its so hard to get them in Singapore cos the good brands like la seza, la perla are quite over- priced and you can only get victoria's secrets online.. so i thought it will be wonderful if i can source for lingerie from all over and sell them under one roof.. it's like how nike and adidas have their flagship stores and i can have my own lingerie flagship store!

its been one hell of two weeks.. the never- ending essays and presentations were suffocating me and it was useless to try to rise above to the surface to take a breather.. if this is any indication of what hell is gonna be like, i am going to start being a good girl so that i will go to heaven when i die..

beyond my grim situation, there was a little time for halloween and dudder's party..

something crazy that we did in school recently.. some people may think its juvenille but i think doing silly things helps friends to bond better and you know its true friendship that you share when you are not afraid to look stupid in front of one and other..

school has been crazy cos its the crunch of the semester where its rushing and more rushing everyday to finish up essays, projects and presentations.. and as of now, i am on a diet of coffee, coke and cookies.. alliterative explosives hahaha.. that explains why i am a lit student..

thinking of going on a short holiday in january before the semester begins to celebrate my birthday.. but to even get there, i have to clear my exams first or i can just forget about it.. and i did a crazy thing recently.. well given my nature, it is not exactly crazy but my friends have been telling me that i am mad for submitting an application to be a pilot in the air force..oh well..



bought the boyfriend a ticket to the motley crue concert yesterday in exchange for a piggy back ride..

its been a long while since i last posted... not that i have been lazy but facing the laptop for like 6 hours a day, writing an essay, kinda put me off using the laptop to go online for anything else.. my tuition kids are in the midst of taking their PSLE papers and i do feel like a mother, having to constantly remind them to sleep early and to remember to pack the relevant materials they need each day... as grief as they might have brought me sometimes, i felt so sad when i had my last lesson with them..

some random pictures cos i got a bit tired to say a lot..